GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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