the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
