i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
