found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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