after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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