remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
