So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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