There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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