Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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