"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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