Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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