Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
