Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
