Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
