You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
