Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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