No awkward lesbian experiences without me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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