Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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