I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
