YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
