I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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