And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
