porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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