i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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