But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
