In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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