A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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