He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Floor bacon is actually really good
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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