Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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