no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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