no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
