she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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