Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
