Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
