I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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