Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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