I got chris browned last night
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
