Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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