so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
false alarm, still single
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