Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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