Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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