All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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