Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
