I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
