I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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