Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
