i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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