she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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