Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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