My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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