There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
nutella sex= disaster
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
