using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
