She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
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Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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