I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
