bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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