Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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