dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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