I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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