Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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